it's almost christmass!

heh. i am SO funny. i have got to be the first person to put the word ass at the end of christmas. sometimes i'm so awesome i scare myself.

so, it's almost christmas, and people's tempers are beginning to fray ever so slightly as they negotiate the teeming unwashed and try to pick non-offensive presents for the children and loved ones whose clothe sizes they've never thought about until this moment. except for the time they did exactly the same thing last year. but who knows, maybe the children and loved ones actually have gone up three sizes in the intervening period. it's been a fat kind of year.

my mother didn't even try her hand at independent buying this time. i went and bought my christmas stash with her two days ago. sure the magic is gone, and it's increasingly difficult to rationalise santa's existence when you're actively picking the presents he's going to bring to you (it seems woefully inefficient for starters), but if science can justify it then so can i. i can also justify these clothes. my mother at one point picked me as the kind of guy that would wear electric blue chromed sunglasses with reflective lenses and orange arms. i'm not leaving anything to chance.

two small christmas presents for you though:

1. the bad gift emporium. does pretty much exactly what it says on the packet: a user-generated gallery/shop of shit gifts (or 'giftrocities' as they call them) that people have been given over the years. click on the pictures for the story behind the present, the ability to rate the piece and information on whether or not you, yes you, could be the lucky new owner of this piece of crap christmas memorabilia. currently in the lead is a copy of 'miss vera's cross-dress for success'

2. a warm and fuzzy feeling. in the words of shaun micallef: here's a sketch that no amount of explaining could possibly explain.

my thanks to nek for the tip off on the second one. if you like sweet choonz you should go check out electrorash, the power blog he created, and to which i erratically contribute. yep. spreading myself around the place. did i mention how much spare time i have at the moment?